In her book, The Age of Miracles, Marianne Williamson writes, “Every life lesson that has ever been presented to you will come back again, until you learn it. And the stakes each time will be higher. Whatever you have learned will bear greater fruit. Whatever you failed to learn will bear harsher consequences.”
The circle is either getting bigger or smaller. We either move forward or move backwards. Progress or digress. The choice is really ours.
Earlier this week, I had an opportunity to host the initial meeting of the World of Difference Toastmasters club. I had a couple dozen people indicate they would be there. When it came time for the meeting, I wondered how many would show up. Would it be more or less?
It turned out it was close to the number of people who said they would be there. I had gotten messages throughout the day and week from friends who had expressed interest in coming but had conflicts that kept them from making it.
There were also those there who were pleasant surprises to see.
I was grateful to see old friends and new faces. The meeting went well. There seemed to be a lot of energy and good feelings throughout.
At the end of the meeting, the toastmaster extended the invitation for those present to join the newly-hatched club. Several expressed interest.
How many would join?
Being as all of this is being handled virtually, the responses were not immediate. Those wanting to join would need to complete an application and send in their dues.
The next morning, I checked to see how many had signed up. I saw zero.
Goose eggs. It looked like not a single person had joined.
To say that was disappointing would be an understatement.
I found myself circling back into old feelings of despair. This wasn’t going to work. Nobody likes me. It’s all my fault. Yada. Yada. Yada.
The truth is there were people who were interested. I had just not been patient enough. I zoomed in on my present view and saw nothing. Yikes! Whoa is me!
I found myself drawing upon the work of Joan Rosenberg I had come across in the middle of the pandemic. Rosenberg, a psychologist, TED speaker, and author of the book, 90 Seconds to a Life You Love, shares the radical notion that rather than avoiding our uncomfortable emotions, we accept them.
Uncomfortable emotions include: sadness, shame, helplessness, anger, embarrassment, disappointment, frustration, and vulnerability.
Those are certainly some uncomfortable feelings.
I had a choice to make. I could either let the emotions I was feeling pull me under, spiraling inward as if I were being drawn into a drain.
Or I could accept the uncomfortable feelings. Do the Rosenberg reset. In her book, and in her work, Rosenberg helps people to become aware of their feelings rather than avoid them.
It is similar to the process I used to find my way out of debilitating depression. I could either continue avoiding those feelings, or I could allow myself to increase my awareness of how I was feeling. As I allowed myself to feel the physical sensations of those uncomfortable feelings, I felt a bit like I was approaching a steep dive as if on a rollercoaster ride.
Part of me wondered if I would survive.
As I let the emotions wash over me, I find their grip lessening.
As I write about it here, I find their influence lessening even more. I’ve long said that writing is a healing process.
While the results of my efforts this week were not what I had hoped for – a fully developed club that we could charter in a matter of days – I can acknowledge I am further along than I was at the beginning of the week. I have several people who have completed the application and paid their dues.
That’s reason to celebrate.
As I worked through this process, I reflected back on a conversation I had the day before the event. In that conversation, I spoke with someone who is co-hosting an event later this year. We spoke about the Courage to Shine, the name of the event.
One concept we likened the Courage to Shine unto was the difference between an inward spiral and an outward spiral. The inward spiral continues to shrink in on itself. Taking energy as it circles the drain. The outward spiral is one in which the energy radiates outwards. It is more of a creative energy.
Rather than getting smaller, the outward spiral grows.
The club, as it is right now, might not be where we would like it to be. But it is a start. It has the opportunity to grow. It has the potential of inspiring the courage to shine.
How are you feeling? Are you facing some uncomfortable feelings? I encourage you to try the Rosenberg reset and allow yourself to increase the awareness of those feelings. Rather than avoid them give yourself the opportunity to be with them for a moment.
As her book title says, it’s 90 Seconds to a Life You Love.
Ninety seconds of facing those uncomfortable emotions could be all you need to inspire within you the courage to shine.
Share your experiences in the comments below.