I didn’t send an email last week. Technology failed me, and I went into freak-out mode. The funny thing is I am comfortable with technology. Knowing my way around the nooks and crannies of computer programs – from Microsoft Access to business intelligence software – was how I built my career in finance.

That worked well while everything was going swimmingly. I was called Doctor Garvin and the King of Excel because I knew how to make technology work.

Technology worked for me…. Until it didn’t.

I was tasked with recreating a model that would allow us to create a calculation in minutes that had been taking days. It took a lot of effort to figure everything out, but I finally got it to work. And it was a huge success. The calculation was determined in fifteen minutes rather than the three days it had been taking.

I was elated. Everything seemed to be going super well. (Super well if you didn’t notice how far I was slipping into burnout.)

Then three months later, after the model had been used three times, the auditors came in. It was while they were poking through the financials, that I discovered I had not been updating a critical field in the model. It amounted to a recalculation of hundreds of thousands of dollars. It was a simple mistake that made a major difference.

I went from the King of Excel to the Kaleidoscope Fool.

I held onto that job for another fifteen months before I was handed a pink slip of opportunity.

It was a painful learning experience. I learned to make my calculations simpler. Much simpler. For a few years, the only spreadsheet calculation I made was to tally the number of x’s I entered in a daily tracking sheet.

Last week when technology failed me, I went a bit off the rails. I had thoughts of how everything was doomed. The house of cards I had built around myself was going to fall in on me. I needed to run and hide.

My biggest underlying fear has always been that I would be seen as the fool I am.

What happened last week? I went to do a Facebook Live in my group, and the camera on my computer didn’t work. I soon discovered that it wasn’t only the camera but also the sound.

It was time for me to go live!

Technology was making a fool of me. Again!

It’s funny (not haha) what we imagine when fear overcomes us.

In Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Professor Lupin has his students face their biggest fears. In one scene, Neville Longbottom is brought to the front of the class. A boggart emerges from the wardrobe as Professor Snape. Neville’s knees shake and his teeth chatter.

Then with a wave of his wand, and the casting of the Riddikulus spell, Snape loses his gothic professor outfit and dons Neville’s grandmother’s clothes. Now it’s Snape whose knees are shaking as he realizes how ridiculous he looks.

Fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) has a way of making our knees shake. It might not be a Professor Snape. It might not be a technical glitch. But we all have fears that cause us to quiver a bit.

In preparing for this week’s Facebook Live, I searched for fresh ideas for facing fears. A central theme throughout was the idea that it is better to face our fears than to be chased by our fears.

That’s easy to say but not as easy to do.

Some of my favorite ways to face fears:

Shelly Bullard, MFT, recommends, Let go of the past through forgiveness.

It took me years to forgive myself for the fatal error I made in that calculation. Today, I can laugh about it. In the past, it had me in fetal position with tears streaming down my face.

Pam Garcy, PhD, provides two formulas for facing fear:

And another:

L – Label and Language

M – Identify the Meaning that led to the emotion

N – Remember, it’s NOT you, it’s your brain

O – Opt for a new meaning

P – Choose an action in line with your higher Purpose

James Clear reminds us that nobody is rooting for us to fail. He also encourages us to accept that just because we don’t like where we’re starting doesn’t mean we shouldn’t start. (A lesson I’ve learned over and over again as I’ve transitioned from spreadsheets to drawing, photography, and writing.)

Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW, advises those with shaking knees to practice gratitude and to recognize anxiety is a storehouse of wisdom. She also echoes Professor Lupin’s guidance to use humor to deflate your worst fears.

Finally, Brian Tracy suggests practicing “as if” we are unafraid. He also presents the Law of Reversibility. The more we practice courage in facing our fears the easier facing those fears becomes.

I’ve seen the last one in practice many times as I’ve been involved with Toastmasters. In the beginning, guests and new members struggle to speak in front of the club for a minute. After they face that fear again and again as they advance on their Toastmaster path, the more fear is replaced by confidence.

One member of my club went from shaking knees and quivering voice to running for Congress.

Today, I faced my own fears and delivered another of my weekly Facebook Lives in my group. Whatever your fears, you have the strength inside to conquer them.

What’s your favorite way to face your fears? Share in the comments below.

burnout courage fear