Happy early Mother’s Day! As we approach this special day, I’ve been reflecting on the money lessons I learned from Mom. Most, but not all, of those reflections are happy.

My parents fought constantly over money. My parents came from very different backgrounds. Mom was born in the Great depression and was raised in an upper-class family. Money was not lacking.

Dad, on the other hand, while also born during the Great Depression was raised in a family that struggled to survive financially. By the time Dad was 13, he had lived in thirteen states.

Mom and Dad never resolved their financial difficulties, and I suspect that finances were a surface level manifestation of deeper insecurities.

Despite witnessing countless financial arguments between my parents, I did learn some positive things about money from Mom.

First, Mom was always caring. She cared less about high fashion and vanity and more about taking care of others. That showed up in her career in nursing. She was fulfilled in taking care of others. That began early in her life when, as a nursing student, her mother (my grandmother) struggled with severe diabetes. Mom was her mother’s primary caretaker.

That same care extended throughout her career. It also showed up in her role as mother, and as Dad’s health declined at the end of his life, Mom rallied her health to care for him.

Mom also had a very strong work ethic. While she balanced work with her pleasure in reading, travel, and playfulness, she also worked long, hard hours. First, in nursing homes while I was a teenager. Later she found more balance providing personal care for her clients.

Mom always worked for those who were later in life and in declining health. That began early in life. Perhaps, even motivated by the death of her father when she was only thirteen. Then when her mother’s health declined while she was in her twenties.

Mom also took care of my brothers as their mental health issues surfaced. Mom never acted as a martyr. She always served with a happy heart and care.

Mom was also not one to put on airs. Even though she grew up in a wealthy family, she never gave me the impression that money separated people. Whether someone had a lot of money and education, or very little, Mom treated everyone the same.

There were no airs.

Mom was the one in our family to make a dollar stretch. While Dad was practicing retail therapy to alleviate his insecurities, Mom made do with what she had. With her love for color, she was able to dress fashionably with a limited budget. She exhibited a sense of style without the accompanying high price tags.

Mom also always found a way to bring humor into a situation. Even on her deathbed, Mom filled her hospital room with laughter. Never grow up, she taught me. Always retain a playful approach to life. It’s a whole lot more enjoyable, and it’s much more productive than remaining beneath a dark cloud.

Be sure to download Mom’s Prosperity Soup: Mom’s best recipe for financial & emotional wellness.

Shine brightly!

Stef

(xe/xem)

Golden Nuggets

Golden Resource: Mom’s Prosperity Soup: Mom’s best recipe for financial & emotional wellness (Download PDF)

Golden Word: matriarch “mother or woman who heads a family or tribe,” from matri– “mother, woman” + –arch, abstracted from patriarch, ultimately from Greek arkhein “to rule” Example: The matriarch ran her business with fierce compassion.

Golden Quote: A mother’s happiness is like a beacon, lighting up the future but reflected also on the past in the guise of fond memories. – Honore de Balzac

Golden Speech: Cultivating Unconditional Self-Worth | Licensed clinical psychologist Adia Gooden guides people through debilitating perfectionism to unconditional self-love. (Full 15:20 | Clip 41s)

Mom's money lessons Money story